Seize opportunities to have frequent positive interactions with your children. There is no substitute for positive and pleasant interactions between parent and child. When good behaviors are acknowledged and praised, children tend to have a positive reaction and then continue with the good behaviors.

Clearly establish and communicate your expectations. Do your children know exactly how you expect them to behave? Do they know what is unacceptable? If children have a clear, working understanding of your expectations and understand the consequences of meeting or not meeting them, they are more inclined to behave appropriately.

Clearly establish the consequences for compliance and noncompliance. Before you have an incident with a child that calls for disciplining, it's best to already have set consequences. Doing so allows parents to keep their cool and let the consequences do the talking. Once established, stick to your plan and don't be distracted by argument, reason, or emotion.

Ignore behaviors that do not threaten the basic quality of life, limb, and property (which include most unacceptable behaviors). Most inappropriate behaviors are of no consequence - they may be irritating, but not worth getting upset over. Usually if left alone, these behaviors will go away on their own. By getting upset over them, you are simply reinforcing the behavior with the attention you're giving to it.

Attend to inappropriate behavior in an unemotional, precise, and direct way. If a child can learn to behave inappropriately, he can learn to behave appropriately. The key to dealing with inappropriate behavior is to let consequences do the talking. This way the parent is no longer to blame... the behavior is.

Do not question a noncompliant child about his behavior or ask him to explain his inappropriate behavior. Inviting verbal exchange about a bad behavior tends to be counterproductive as doing so simply calls attention to the problem you're trying to solve. Ask questions only if you need information for problem-solving, otherwise you're just blowing off steam.

Use the inappropriate behavior of one child as a cue for you to attend to the appropriate behavior of other children. Appropriate behavior can be reinforced by the attention given to it. If you give praise to one child for his good behavior while ignoring the bad behavior of another, the child behaving inappropriately will start behaving appropriately in order to receive that praise.

Smile and laugh, talk and touch - a lot! Positive interactions are important to let your children know you love and appreciate them. Affection given to your kids - hugs and kisses, appreciative notes, smiles, etc. - goes a long way, and creates a positive, loving, nurturing home environment.

Assess behavior analytically and treat it clinically. When disciplining children, learn to gather data about the problem first and let that help you solve problems. When disciplining is necessary, proceed cautiously, be objective and calm, and take note of what's happening.